Nervous and Terrified.

The finals’ results are supposed to come out in 24 hours, and I'm shaking. I know I did my best but still, what if it wasn't enough? I need to stop overthinking, I don't want to lose my mind. I just hope I don't fail in any subject, I really do hope for the best, I know G-d is with me, I trust Him.

Nurit 2.0.

I guess being good is never a good thing anymore. Oh well, guess who's going to be a heartless cold bitch again? Yep, me. I'll only be good to those who accept me for who I am, I'll be good to those who never mistreat me, I'll be good for those who never judge me. I guess I have to bury the old Nurit for good this time. Nobody is worth it these days apparently.

20:07.

I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don't vibrate on the same frequency there's just no reason for us to waste our time. I'd rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.

ללכת.

אם לא תחכי לי בסופו של היום
תהיי חלום שעה בשעה
אם תלכי ממני בסופו של דבר
מה שנשאר יהיה חסר השראה

אם את עקבותייך לא אדע לנחש
אני לוחש לך, יש בי דמעה
אם תלכי ממני לשדה של אחר
לא אוותר לך אולי את טועה

וללכת זה נותן לי כוח
בלילות רק איתך והלב הוא שלך
וללכת נותן את הכוח, לא להיות שלם
אני רוצה

אם את עקבותייך לא אמצא לעולם
ואם כולם יגידו עזוב
לא אפסיק ללכת בשבילך, אהבה
תהיי קרובה יהיה לנו טוב

וללכת זה נותן לי כוח
בלילות רק איתך והלב הוא שלך
וללכת נותן את הכוח, לא להיות שלם
אני רוצה

The Real Nurit.

I feel like the world is crashing down on me, and no one knows, and no one cares. They're blinded by what they don't see. They think I'm dumb. They think I'm weak, but they don't know me. They only think they do. Their assumptions about me are not true. I'm not weak, and it's not over, and I'm not through! I haven't even started! So, go and tell your stupid rumors. Running your mouth like a rapid-fire, but in the end, you're just a liar. So, go ahead and throw your grenades. I don't care, your words only fade. Disappearing into the sound of the words I have found. I don't care what you think. I am free to be me with only paper and ink.